Defining Myself by More than a Number

Check out this awesome blog from our very own Caroline Luan SFG

If you’re wondering what CrossFit and Kettlebell training is all about just read on.  I’ve known Caroline for 3 years and in that time I’ve watched her go through a lot including getting the prestigious SFG kettlebell trainer certification.  This is a great story about not giving up or skipping the gym when everything in your life was telling you not to go. CrossFit I35 is proud to have Caroline as one of its trainers.

This last week has been significant for me in that I had a ton of new accomplishments that I wasn’t expecting.  Even with all the stress and chaos of work and life…I was able to break to a few walls, mentally and physically, in my training and journey to a healthier lifestyle.

A week ago, after 2 years of unsuccessfully trying to beat a previous PR in one of my lifts, I was finally able to beat it.  By 10 pounds no less!! My Clean & Jerk went from 140lbs to 150lbs.  This is a major accomplishment because the last couple of years I’ve not been able to consistently lift heavy due to injury or time at the gym.  I was constantly hitting a wall every time came close…getting my old weight, but never able to jump past it.  I cannot say how amazing it was to finally hit my lift and a new PR.  Now I wasn’t expecting to get any additional PRs this week…but somehow, someway, thanks to my amazing CrossFit family, I was able to hit 2 additional PRs!  Special shout out to Meaghan and Tina for pushing me and helping me get there.  Meaghan and I were partnered for this year’s CrossFit Open and she challenged me to try and beat her score.  I’ve avoided doing any work on the rig (pull-ups, etc.) because I’ve had wonky shoulder from all my previous sports.  I knew I could do kipping pull-ups, not well mind you, but I haven’t had my strict pull-ups in such a long time.  I didn’t want to risk messing my shoulder up more.

Meaghan’s challenge had me trying to to Chest-to-bar pull-ups (which sooooo didn’t happen), but I ended up doing 40 kipping pull-ups before I had to scale back down to ring-rows.  Cut to the next day…my body is aching and I had no desire to go into the gym.  Instead of taking the day off and sleeping in (the dogs didn’t let me!), I ended up back at the gym.  And got my first rope climb!!!  Wouldn’t have been possible without Tina and her advice and guidance on how to get up there.

I’m constantly humbled by the amazing people I train with – they constantly support me and challenge me to do better.  The last time I had a group of people that supported me and challenged me the same was back in grad school.  The wonderful men and women that I trained with in Muay Thai – Jackie, Auggie, Vincent, Isis, Natasha, Bella, and Monica!  You started me down this path and I’m forever grateful.

I don’t know where I’d be if it wasn’t for all the amazing people that I’ve had in my life these last eight years – supporting me, guiding me, challenging me to be better.  The list would be endless if I mentioned everyone here…so I’ll just say…

Thank you.  The last two months have been incredibly stressful and trying but because of the lessons you’ve taught me, the support you’ve provided, I’ve not had a relapse with my eating disorder.

Ok, enough with the emotional stuff (I blame the bit of tequila I’ve had as I’m writing this…).  It’s almost my bedtime anyway.

I do have one thing to say though, for anyone who’s struggling through self-image issues, eating disorders, frustrations at not hitting your goal – you’ll get there.  You have someone who’s supporting you, whether you know it or not.  Reach out…you’ll be surprised by the amount of support you actually have behind you.  You aren’t alone in this.